Are you getting enough?? ......sex?

Hi mommy!! This is the truth talking to , please handle it, because you need it.

When was the last time you had a good sex with the father of your children?? I really would like the answer to be ; just few days ago. But I guess it's not!
Probably good sex or ANY at all was weeks ago? Too optimistic? Months ago?

You feel there is something not quite right between you too, like there is a distance filled by babies/children?
Are you feeling enough satisfaction from being a mother, that sex looks less appealing those days?
Are you really tiered that you would rather be sleeping, or eating a big piece of chocolate cake , than exhausting yourself with an intimate relation?
Are you on a tight schedule , that doesn't fit for sex??

It's OK, its normal that you are living this situation and experiencing those feeling. Being a mommy, specially a new one , has brought to you all kinds of mixed feelings and instability you could imagined, you are not even yourself anymore, you are dealing with a new person that you barely know, your time has been taken away from you, it's not even a choice, it's something you are doing , that sometimes you don't even realize it , you are moving around taking care of your baby and husband and the house, maybe a parent or two, as well as having a life and taking care of yourself , maybe! The way you look, rarely the way you feel, in addition of having friends , you need to see those too, because you love hanging out with them, maybe the only few hours that makes you feel like yourself again in that stressful time.

So, sex..?? Remember?
You are actually doing everything but this, why?
Yes, I know you are thinking it's all his fault, he is not doing enough for me, I don't feel like I'm wanted any more, he ignores me, I'm busy all day and I don't feel like he understands how I feel about this new life I'm living, he is selfish!! He wakes up, get all dressed up and at least, go out!
What do I do?I stay in my pajamas all day taking care of this crying thing, and cooking , I don't remember how the street looks like anymore, I'm a cave woman, I'm the one who should be more appreciated, and even if I look like hell, he still need to make me feel like he wants to sleep with me, right?

Mmmm, ya, you are 100% partially right, he is having his own issues too, he misses you the most, I'm sure, he feels like your precious , sweet, yummy little cute baby has taken you away from him, he maybe feels like he is even not important any more , that you really need your time only to be beside the new baby, he is withdrawing, thinking he is sacrificing his time with you because of you. He really doesn't want to bother you by his needs.

Or, maybe he is the other type of guys, who feels like you have changed! He can't find his wife anymore,he feels like you are really different that he can't even start flirting with you, because you are all exhausted and busy and talks on and on about the baby. You look different , you sound different, it's not you, he is basically feeling about you the way you feel about yourself, So he's thinking ok, let's just sleep

Or unfortunately, he is the guy who is buying his own comfort, by spending most of his free time out, playing poker, or hanging out with his friends, feeling no responsibility at all, and being insensitive about the sex issue, because he is so self-centered .

Although some married couples who are not parents yet, are having the no sex situation, I really want to discuss it from a mom and dad point.

For moms , you need to put some effort in it, even if you are not used to it, even if your husband was always the tiger who chased you around and hunt you, don't take it personally that he is not chasing you any more , think outside the box, you can go crazy , thinking, he doesn't like me any more, I'm fat, I'm ugly , I smell bad , he doesn't want to be close to me ever again, going crazy will only make it worst, because you will be reacting to your thoughts, you will start blaming him for things he doesnt even understand, or you will withdraw, and make it more complicated.
Just try to take it easy, think of it as a hard Time for you and him, think fast and react slowly, give it sometime, it will happen, if you start thinking, we are a young couple, if we are not having enough sex now , what will happen in ten years? We must have sex now!
No! Don't panic! You are fine and you will be fine , most of good sex come to you after you are 30! That what I heard. So it's ok :).

Just give it time, if you know how to fix the problem , go ahead. Don't be so proud.
I don't want to start giving you tips on how to boost your sex life, you do it.
If you were having good times before giving birth, you should be having good times afterward too.

I'm telling you try to fix it, not because its always the woman responsibility , like some men would say, no. I'm telling you to fix it, because we women , were created as problem solvers , we know how to do it all, you as a mom now, know that very well, you can do it all, you are sexy, smart, tolerant, loving and easy going, you can put up with many things, men can't even imagine, give yourself the credit for that , and use it, don't accept being the victim, as a woman you are great.... As a mom you are even greater.

Your husband will know that , when you know it.

Please, don't ignore having a sexless life as a mom, it's one of the biggest undiscussed issues in our society , and it can be very dangerous , it can have major side effects on you personally , and your family, it's important, talk with your husband about it today, if you don't know what else you should be doing. be strong, be yourself. It's your husband , he will love it, even if you didn't solve it immediately ,you have broken the taboo, it may take sometime, but it's much better than taking no time at all.