Dealing with your family

Your new family, that is your husband/ wife , and your baby/babies. I wanted to write about everyone of them by itself , but It didn't work , because they are a unit, and they have a double effect on you and it's paradoxal , so I decided they are going to stick together.
Accepting your family will be in volumes , like a chain following what's new, what's worth mentioning for a little family like mine and yours.


Having problems accepting new people, take place in our lives is normal and it should be expected, like when you have a new colleuge at your new job, or your in laws who are becoming a part of your life and you are developing a new relation with them, no pressure! Whatever! :D
You know these kind of people that you can't avoid and you want to deal with, because you need to, that eventually you figure something to make you look good and feel good at the same time, it's manageable , it allllll goooooood..

Having a husband and a baby is a different story, you think, how hard it could be?? Marrying your fiancé , or your boyfriend?? He is in my face all the time anyway, but do you remember how hard it was, and it's still hard in some ways , you are living with a new man! He is not even a girl that she can gets you, no it's a boy, ya! Be my guest ,, and read the book, whatever the planet they are coming from that we don't belong to!

Anyway, you get the point! The surprise is , once you are getting used to deal with the boy you are living with, you get pregnant, you will never be ready to THAT kind of change even if you are getting ready, I put myself into the process of becoming pregnant for a year , and a whole year of marriage before it and still, I'm in my second pregnancy and I still find it hard to expect and accept things about this swee journey of becoming a mom

From the very first day after giving birth, you will start being a mom, with all the pain and discomfort you are feeling, you need to stand up for
yourself and your baby, especially if you are a stand up girl in general and you are independent in your thoughts and way of living , there will be sleepless nights , many of them.
You will be spending hours reading books and searching the net for answers how to Deal with that little creature , not to forget taking hours of crying and screaming for no obvious reason, and it's all your responsibility.

Many of you moms, knows that your husband can turn into jerks! Either because he is so surprised and can't deal with the new scary situation!!!! Or because he thinks it's too much for him to handle and it's your job anyway!!!! So he disappeared or seems too surprised and withdrawn from his own family. It can't be right!

You husbands need to stand up for your new babies as well, I'm not saying like instantly accepting your little boy/girl, because even mothers don't accept them that fast , it's weried , yes we know! But at least you need to be there for your wife , the one that you adore, that took you for your bad and good, managed everything in your life so everything will be good, even if it is not that good, she was there for you , she learned how to cook for you, she dressed nicely for you, at least she listened! Don't tell me she didn't do that.

Even if she wasn't the greatest wife, it's a very critical , emotional time for women after giving birth, in such situations, unfortunatelly , fixing and helping is not the mom role, she can't get herself out of it, she needs her husband in the first place , her family and friends, it's a
situation that acquire full support from people around , so be there daddy , she will be needing you to comfort her , to listen, to take care of
her, make her feels like nothing is more important or beautiful as she is in the moment, let her make sure that nothing can harm her or her little baby as long as you are here. Be a man, don't be a child who once again can get out of it by being grumpy or nervous .

Now guys, it's your time to prove that you have changed and grew up.

Moms, new moms, moms to be . Tell your man what you need, before you give birth , sit down with him , talk to him, tell him it's going to be hard on both of you , and tell him it's one of the times that he needs to do it all, be the father the husband and the man any woman need, remind him that you love him , and there's a new baby who is coming to make you a bigger sweeter family, tell him that he can be frustrated or surprised , but remind him that he can share whatever he feels, anything!

And you , be accepting , don't tell him to spill it all then storm on him, listen , and also when you feel he has gone too far , remind him that you don't want to hear this or that, that you wish he can gets it by himself, and give him enough space to figure things out and to do things his way, you will love it. When you see him grow emotionally in front of you, you will know he needed you.

Too much work for you?? If you think he is grown emotionally better than you are, and you are the one in the relationship who needs a push or the space , let him know too.

You, the husband, take care of her , give her some space to give you what she wants , appreciate the little things, we put all our emotions in small stuff to tell you things about ourselves and what we need, open your eyes, it's not supposed to be all obvious, you will be board , live the adventure with your wife , the mother of your children, it's worth it. I bet she is in love with you, madly in love , but you can't figure it out and she can't quite feel it because you are always away some how.

Family, family with no love is nothing, and you are powerless without love , love is your tool to reach your goals and be satisfied , find the hidden love in your family life, somebody needs to stand up , find who is the best match for that , or upgrade yourself to be the stand up member, you choice . Decide.