I'm totally sorry for disturbing your peaceful, happy , sex full lives dear moms!!
I never imagined that truth could still hurt even if it's from a total stranger, even if you know me as a friend or relative, I don't know you are reading this blog, and I don't want to know, I only want to help you help yourself, just like Tunis did for Egypt, You never know who will be next, but you share what you know, what you can do , so someone can use it.
But! It seems like you don't have the courage even to think about some issues that are facing you as a mom, (young mom) Im specially addressing.
The sex post was viewed the most, from all over the world, and never commented on!! and you don't even have to write your name!!
I can't say I'm not surprised, but when I first started this blog , I said to myself , no Arabic woman has done this before, or that what I think, so it's going to be very beneficial and helpful, women will love it, will adore it, not because I'm so great , it's only because I'm saying it the real way, no make up, or surgeries.
I'll continue doing it, thanx for women who shared their opinions even to my Facebook inbox, thanx for the brave woman who shared her experience , and also thanx for you, the women who viewed the sex post, I hope you got something out of it.
You have just made me more stubborn to do what I wanted to do with this blog from the beginning , read it and don't tell....
It's ok...
LOVE
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Are you getting enough?? ......sex?
Hi mommy!! This is the truth talking to , please handle it, because you need it.
When was the last time you had a good sex with the father of your children?? I really would like the answer to be ; just few days ago. But I guess it's not!
Probably good sex or ANY at all was weeks ago? Too optimistic? Months ago?
You feel there is something not quite right between you too, like there is a distance filled by babies/children?
Are you feeling enough satisfaction from being a mother, that sex looks less appealing those days?
Are you really tiered that you would rather be sleeping, or eating a big piece of chocolate cake , than exhausting yourself with an intimate relation?
Are you on a tight schedule , that doesn't fit for sex??
It's OK, its normal that you are living this situation and experiencing those feeling. Being a mommy, specially a new one , has brought to you all kinds of mixed feelings and instability you could imagined, you are not even yourself anymore, you are dealing with a new person that you barely know, your time has been taken away from you, it's not even a choice, it's something you are doing , that sometimes you don't even realize it , you are moving around taking care of your baby and husband and the house, maybe a parent or two, as well as having a life and taking care of yourself , maybe! The way you look, rarely the way you feel, in addition of having friends , you need to see those too, because you love hanging out with them, maybe the only few hours that makes you feel like yourself again in that stressful time.
So, sex..?? Remember?
You are actually doing everything but this, why?
Yes, I know you are thinking it's all his fault, he is not doing enough for me, I don't feel like I'm wanted any more, he ignores me, I'm busy all day and I don't feel like he understands how I feel about this new life I'm living, he is selfish!! He wakes up, get all dressed up and at least, go out!
What do I do?I stay in my pajamas all day taking care of this crying thing, and cooking , I don't remember how the street looks like anymore, I'm a cave woman, I'm the one who should be more appreciated, and even if I look like hell, he still need to make me feel like he wants to sleep with me, right?
Mmmm, ya, you are 100% partially right, he is having his own issues too, he misses you the most, I'm sure, he feels like your precious , sweet, yummy little cute baby has taken you away from him, he maybe feels like he is even not important any more , that you really need your time only to be beside the new baby, he is withdrawing, thinking he is sacrificing his time with you because of you. He really doesn't want to bother you by his needs.
Or, maybe he is the other type of guys, who feels like you have changed! He can't find his wife anymore,he feels like you are really different that he can't even start flirting with you, because you are all exhausted and busy and talks on and on about the baby. You look different , you sound different, it's not you, he is basically feeling about you the way you feel about yourself, So he's thinking ok, let's just sleep
Or unfortunately, he is the guy who is buying his own comfort, by spending most of his free time out, playing poker, or hanging out with his friends, feeling no responsibility at all, and being insensitive about the sex issue, because he is so self-centered .
Although some married couples who are not parents yet, are having the no sex situation, I really want to discuss it from a mom and dad point.
For moms , you need to put some effort in it, even if you are not used to it, even if your husband was always the tiger who chased you around and hunt you, don't take it personally that he is not chasing you any more , think outside the box, you can go crazy , thinking, he doesn't like me any more, I'm fat, I'm ugly , I smell bad , he doesn't want to be close to me ever again, going crazy will only make it worst, because you will be reacting to your thoughts, you will start blaming him for things he doesnt even understand, or you will withdraw, and make it more complicated.
Just try to take it easy, think of it as a hard Time for you and him, think fast and react slowly, give it sometime, it will happen, if you start thinking, we are a young couple, if we are not having enough sex now , what will happen in ten years? We must have sex now!
No! Don't panic! You are fine and you will be fine , most of good sex come to you after you are 30! That what I heard. So it's ok :).
Just give it time, if you know how to fix the problem , go ahead. Don't be so proud.
I don't want to start giving you tips on how to boost your sex life, you do it.
If you were having good times before giving birth, you should be having good times afterward too.
I'm telling you try to fix it, not because its always the woman responsibility , like some men would say, no. I'm telling you to fix it, because we women , were created as problem solvers , we know how to do it all, you as a mom now, know that very well, you can do it all, you are sexy, smart, tolerant, loving and easy going, you can put up with many things, men can't even imagine, give yourself the credit for that , and use it, don't accept being the victim, as a woman you are great.... As a mom you are even greater.
Your husband will know that , when you know it.
Please, don't ignore having a sexless life as a mom, it's one of the biggest undiscussed issues in our society , and it can be very dangerous , it can have major side effects on you personally , and your family, it's important, talk with your husband about it today, if you don't know what else you should be doing. be strong, be yourself. It's your husband , he will love it, even if you didn't solve it immediately ,you have broken the taboo, it may take sometime, but it's much better than taking no time at all.
When was the last time you had a good sex with the father of your children?? I really would like the answer to be ; just few days ago. But I guess it's not!
Probably good sex or ANY at all was weeks ago? Too optimistic? Months ago?
You feel there is something not quite right between you too, like there is a distance filled by babies/children?
Are you feeling enough satisfaction from being a mother, that sex looks less appealing those days?
Are you really tiered that you would rather be sleeping, or eating a big piece of chocolate cake , than exhausting yourself with an intimate relation?
Are you on a tight schedule , that doesn't fit for sex??
It's OK, its normal that you are living this situation and experiencing those feeling. Being a mommy, specially a new one , has brought to you all kinds of mixed feelings and instability you could imagined, you are not even yourself anymore, you are dealing with a new person that you barely know, your time has been taken away from you, it's not even a choice, it's something you are doing , that sometimes you don't even realize it , you are moving around taking care of your baby and husband and the house, maybe a parent or two, as well as having a life and taking care of yourself , maybe! The way you look, rarely the way you feel, in addition of having friends , you need to see those too, because you love hanging out with them, maybe the only few hours that makes you feel like yourself again in that stressful time.
So, sex..?? Remember?
You are actually doing everything but this, why?
Yes, I know you are thinking it's all his fault, he is not doing enough for me, I don't feel like I'm wanted any more, he ignores me, I'm busy all day and I don't feel like he understands how I feel about this new life I'm living, he is selfish!! He wakes up, get all dressed up and at least, go out!
What do I do?I stay in my pajamas all day taking care of this crying thing, and cooking , I don't remember how the street looks like anymore, I'm a cave woman, I'm the one who should be more appreciated, and even if I look like hell, he still need to make me feel like he wants to sleep with me, right?
Mmmm, ya, you are 100% partially right, he is having his own issues too, he misses you the most, I'm sure, he feels like your precious , sweet, yummy little cute baby has taken you away from him, he maybe feels like he is even not important any more , that you really need your time only to be beside the new baby, he is withdrawing, thinking he is sacrificing his time with you because of you. He really doesn't want to bother you by his needs.
Or, maybe he is the other type of guys, who feels like you have changed! He can't find his wife anymore,he feels like you are really different that he can't even start flirting with you, because you are all exhausted and busy and talks on and on about the baby. You look different , you sound different, it's not you, he is basically feeling about you the way you feel about yourself, So he's thinking ok, let's just sleep
Or unfortunately, he is the guy who is buying his own comfort, by spending most of his free time out, playing poker, or hanging out with his friends, feeling no responsibility at all, and being insensitive about the sex issue, because he is so self-centered .
Although some married couples who are not parents yet, are having the no sex situation, I really want to discuss it from a mom and dad point.
For moms , you need to put some effort in it, even if you are not used to it, even if your husband was always the tiger who chased you around and hunt you, don't take it personally that he is not chasing you any more , think outside the box, you can go crazy , thinking, he doesn't like me any more, I'm fat, I'm ugly , I smell bad , he doesn't want to be close to me ever again, going crazy will only make it worst, because you will be reacting to your thoughts, you will start blaming him for things he doesnt even understand, or you will withdraw, and make it more complicated.
Just try to take it easy, think of it as a hard Time for you and him, think fast and react slowly, give it sometime, it will happen, if you start thinking, we are a young couple, if we are not having enough sex now , what will happen in ten years? We must have sex now!
No! Don't panic! You are fine and you will be fine , most of good sex come to you after you are 30! That what I heard. So it's ok :).
Just give it time, if you know how to fix the problem , go ahead. Don't be so proud.
I don't want to start giving you tips on how to boost your sex life, you do it.
If you were having good times before giving birth, you should be having good times afterward too.
I'm telling you try to fix it, not because its always the woman responsibility , like some men would say, no. I'm telling you to fix it, because we women , were created as problem solvers , we know how to do it all, you as a mom now, know that very well, you can do it all, you are sexy, smart, tolerant, loving and easy going, you can put up with many things, men can't even imagine, give yourself the credit for that , and use it, don't accept being the victim, as a woman you are great.... As a mom you are even greater.
Your husband will know that , when you know it.
Please, don't ignore having a sexless life as a mom, it's one of the biggest undiscussed issues in our society , and it can be very dangerous , it can have major side effects on you personally , and your family, it's important, talk with your husband about it today, if you don't know what else you should be doing. be strong, be yourself. It's your husband , he will love it, even if you didn't solve it immediately ,you have broken the taboo, it may take sometime, but it's much better than taking no time at all.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Are you wishing for someone else? Really?
If you can't handle the truth, the real thoughts for real wives in the real world , please don't read this.
If you don't want to face an existing problem, and you prefer not to read about , please don't read this.
This post has a hero, It's a guy, I'll call him Jimmy .
So , Jimmy is the guy that you wish you have married, Jimmy is the guy you always remember or wish for ,when you have a fight with your husband, He is the one that you are sure he would have treated you better than this husband who you finally settled for and got married to, Jimmy is the crush that you had once, the love that never got a closure, the guy that he wanted you so much and loved you so so much but, never offers to marry you, and sometimes when life squeezes you , you ask yourself once again why??
Jimmy always pops in your mind when your bad husband criticizes you when you need a compliment , or when there is no enough money for all these extra things you always wanted, that you really deserve, or when you look at yourself in the mirror and miss that sweet girl who was full of energy and laughter ,but look at her now, so involved with the kids and Mr.husband who is not paying any attention, but Jimmy always knew I was special.
Jimmy in that case can be two things, he is either your husband before getting mArried.
Or the jerk who never had guts to tell you that he loved you or wanted to marry you.
Both ways, Jimmy is a lie!
Do you think Jimmy will be treating you better?? ( I'm not talking about the extreme cases , that the husband really needs to be stopped) I'm talking about regular problems, and everyday issues
Do you think that Jimmy would have stayed as sweet as he was 10 years ago?
Do you think that Jimmy would have gave you more than your husband?
No way! Jimmy is probably still not married, because he has relationships, commentment issues , I know he will never be more understanding or loving than your husband, I bet no one will ever treat you as good as your husband is doing , be honest, you are not an angel yourself , you do neglect your appearances sometimes, you don't give all the required attention all the time, you are not as sweet as you were 2 years ago, right?
I know it's for good reasons , but still, I'm sure he hugged you most of the times he felt you are tiered or in need for the man in him to tell you, everything is going to be fine.
I'm sure sometimes you have been totally unreasonable and he stayed calm , because he loves you, maybe he is not good in dealing with your anger, or strong emotions, but he is trying, isn't he??
Don't forget that your husband who has all these bad qualities gave you some of the greatest moments in your living life.
Don't forget that before he become as busy as you are, he was a Jimmy , not any Jimmy, your Jimmy.
Don't forget that men are weak sometimes , just like me and you, and need some support and care and a kiss on the forehead , telling him, you are here for him.
Don't forget that men sometimes need to know that they are sexually wanted by you, not by the pretty girl that admires him in the office, day
and night !
And don't you dare forget he may have a Jimmy girl himself , because you are making a drama out of your everyday life.
If you are already a mom, you understand how giving and sacrificing is done, you understand how your babies or kids are in desperate need for you to put them on the right track, push your husband to be more involved in guiding your little ones, and give him all the credit for being around , give him some of the attention and care you are giving for your babies, believe me he needs it as much, and always give him the space to do the same for you, remind him that you need him , that you do love him, talk it out, always say I love you, I miss you , I want you, you Are my sweet life, because he is really that, but you don't see it any more , either because you are so busy or so angry, or you want to prove a thing that doesn't really matter!!
There is no victims , there is no heros here, its only a loving family, nobody needs to prove anything to anyone, live your life as you want it to be, don't observe happier people, you are probably happier but you don't know it.
If you think people don't have issues, you are wrong! Be you, enjoy what you have , enjoy your man! Yes ! He is all yours, live it as you want it to be. Don't waste your stable family , love and emotions, for something that never existed . You are having a great life..... See it and it will
see you.
Let your last thought be.... Jimmy is probably still wants you, but you are having the messy, emotional , loving , angry, full life with great hard working loving daddy, and a sexy, loving, daring husband that is just perfectly right for you. You don't need Jimmy .
You are the winner, you have it all.
If you don't want to face an existing problem, and you prefer not to read about , please don't read this.
This post has a hero, It's a guy, I'll call him Jimmy .
So , Jimmy is the guy that you wish you have married, Jimmy is the guy you always remember or wish for ,when you have a fight with your husband, He is the one that you are sure he would have treated you better than this husband who you finally settled for and got married to, Jimmy is the crush that you had once, the love that never got a closure, the guy that he wanted you so much and loved you so so much but, never offers to marry you, and sometimes when life squeezes you , you ask yourself once again why??
Jimmy always pops in your mind when your bad husband criticizes you when you need a compliment , or when there is no enough money for all these extra things you always wanted, that you really deserve, or when you look at yourself in the mirror and miss that sweet girl who was full of energy and laughter ,but look at her now, so involved with the kids and Mr.husband who is not paying any attention, but Jimmy always knew I was special.
Jimmy in that case can be two things, he is either your husband before getting mArried.
Or the jerk who never had guts to tell you that he loved you or wanted to marry you.
Both ways, Jimmy is a lie!
Do you think Jimmy will be treating you better?? ( I'm not talking about the extreme cases , that the husband really needs to be stopped) I'm talking about regular problems, and everyday issues
Do you think that Jimmy would have stayed as sweet as he was 10 years ago?
Do you think that Jimmy would have gave you more than your husband?
No way! Jimmy is probably still not married, because he has relationships, commentment issues , I know he will never be more understanding or loving than your husband, I bet no one will ever treat you as good as your husband is doing , be honest, you are not an angel yourself , you do neglect your appearances sometimes, you don't give all the required attention all the time, you are not as sweet as you were 2 years ago, right?
I know it's for good reasons , but still, I'm sure he hugged you most of the times he felt you are tiered or in need for the man in him to tell you, everything is going to be fine.
I'm sure sometimes you have been totally unreasonable and he stayed calm , because he loves you, maybe he is not good in dealing with your anger, or strong emotions, but he is trying, isn't he??
Don't forget that your husband who has all these bad qualities gave you some of the greatest moments in your living life.
Don't forget that before he become as busy as you are, he was a Jimmy , not any Jimmy, your Jimmy.
Don't forget that men are weak sometimes , just like me and you, and need some support and care and a kiss on the forehead , telling him, you are here for him.
Don't forget that men sometimes need to know that they are sexually wanted by you, not by the pretty girl that admires him in the office, day
and night !
And don't you dare forget he may have a Jimmy girl himself , because you are making a drama out of your everyday life.
If you are already a mom, you understand how giving and sacrificing is done, you understand how your babies or kids are in desperate need for you to put them on the right track, push your husband to be more involved in guiding your little ones, and give him all the credit for being around , give him some of the attention and care you are giving for your babies, believe me he needs it as much, and always give him the space to do the same for you, remind him that you need him , that you do love him, talk it out, always say I love you, I miss you , I want you, you Are my sweet life, because he is really that, but you don't see it any more , either because you are so busy or so angry, or you want to prove a thing that doesn't really matter!!
There is no victims , there is no heros here, its only a loving family, nobody needs to prove anything to anyone, live your life as you want it to be, don't observe happier people, you are probably happier but you don't know it.
If you think people don't have issues, you are wrong! Be you, enjoy what you have , enjoy your man! Yes ! He is all yours, live it as you want it to be. Don't waste your stable family , love and emotions, for something that never existed . You are having a great life..... See it and it will
see you.
Let your last thought be.... Jimmy is probably still wants you, but you are having the messy, emotional , loving , angry, full life with great hard working loving daddy, and a sexy, loving, daring husband that is just perfectly right for you. You don't need Jimmy .
You are the winner, you have it all.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Be grateful and you will be appreciated
You probably never thought of the year 2011.. I was so excited I witnessed 2007!! It's just amazing :)
Even if I imagined it , I would never thought that I would be a mom!! For 2!! Boys !! And for that I'm so grateful .
You may think, it's ok, so what? You are just another mom...
Yes another mom, so many moms around, right?
Each one of them is a hero, each one of you moms. I think of you day and night , and I really feel that you are not recognized enough, appreciated enough
this post is loaded with respect, love and appreciation for all of you moms. Either you are a working mom, home stay mom, single mom, poor or rich, old or young... I give you all the love and respect in this world.
I know sometimes you get tired and you get bored and lonely, sometimes you feel like you are loosing it, but you still doing a great job with the kids, being tired never stopes you from standing up one more time to change and feed , being bored never stops you from playing silly games and watching all these kids channels, being lonely just made you wanna be there more for your baby/ babies.
So try this, Be grateful for what you have , and what you do , somewhere, somehow , I know you are appreciated.
This blog is appreciating you, take it as a starting point to be grateful for what you have , and for the life that you are living , blessed with
babies, with a full exhausting life. Do you really know what you would be doing if you don't have your kids in your life?
Whatever your answer is, you are fine , because if you do, you still can do it with some organizing and a loving push. If you don't , you are having a life , that is defining you.
Now, think with me , what are you grateful for?? It's a new beginning , a new year, please please count your blessings,, try to ignore what is negative, even if it's the worst, deal with it and try to leave it .
Start counting your blessings everyday, make it a habit , wake up, look around , start with a smile, and remember all the things that you are grateful for today, write them down if you wish and put them in a visible place ,so you will remember what is worth living . Do that even if you think you Are living in a total mess, just try it .....
Being grateful doesn't mean that you need to have a large amount of money, or the best car, or the prettiest face, or the perfect body, being grateful , is to thank god for the things that we never think of, things we take for granted, like
having a jacket in this cold weather while thousands of people are freezing ...
Having enough food for your family, you are not starving...
You have eyes and hands and legs, not everybody have those..
You have kids, many people are trying hard for that... You are not
Learn to live to the maximum, take advantage of everything you have, don't just sit back, looking for something to complain about , so you feel loved or satisfied, or weak.... Be everything you have in your life, see it clearly, so you can feel how important it is, and how difficult your life will be if you don't have it, don't ignore what you have, don't be busy of wanting what you don't have.
Let's start a circle of positive thinking and gratitude, tell me what are you grateful for .
I'll start
1- grateful for having tariq, my baby
2- grateful for having my school friends all around, and we all got married and had babies around the same time, so it's just amazing, to share all the info and the feelings, it's sweet, I love it.
3- grateful for every essential thing in my life that I can't live without, which could be a wish for someone else, I don't take my life for granted, it's a blessing.
Ok, write three things you are really grateful for, if you want to say more please do :)
Prove yourself wrong, you can be positive, and you do want to live it right. I guarantee you will find the appreciation you need once you start being grateful.
Happy new year moms around the world.
Even if I imagined it , I would never thought that I would be a mom!! For 2!! Boys !! And for that I'm so grateful .
You may think, it's ok, so what? You are just another mom...
Yes another mom, so many moms around, right?
Each one of them is a hero, each one of you moms. I think of you day and night , and I really feel that you are not recognized enough, appreciated enough
this post is loaded with respect, love and appreciation for all of you moms. Either you are a working mom, home stay mom, single mom, poor or rich, old or young... I give you all the love and respect in this world.
I know sometimes you get tired and you get bored and lonely, sometimes you feel like you are loosing it, but you still doing a great job with the kids, being tired never stopes you from standing up one more time to change and feed , being bored never stops you from playing silly games and watching all these kids channels, being lonely just made you wanna be there more for your baby/ babies.
So try this, Be grateful for what you have , and what you do , somewhere, somehow , I know you are appreciated.
This blog is appreciating you, take it as a starting point to be grateful for what you have , and for the life that you are living , blessed with
babies, with a full exhausting life. Do you really know what you would be doing if you don't have your kids in your life?
Whatever your answer is, you are fine , because if you do, you still can do it with some organizing and a loving push. If you don't , you are having a life , that is defining you.
Now, think with me , what are you grateful for?? It's a new beginning , a new year, please please count your blessings,, try to ignore what is negative, even if it's the worst, deal with it and try to leave it .
Start counting your blessings everyday, make it a habit , wake up, look around , start with a smile, and remember all the things that you are grateful for today, write them down if you wish and put them in a visible place ,so you will remember what is worth living . Do that even if you think you Are living in a total mess, just try it .....
Being grateful doesn't mean that you need to have a large amount of money, or the best car, or the prettiest face, or the perfect body, being grateful , is to thank god for the things that we never think of, things we take for granted, like
having a jacket in this cold weather while thousands of people are freezing ...
Having enough food for your family, you are not starving...
You have eyes and hands and legs, not everybody have those..
You have kids, many people are trying hard for that... You are not
Learn to live to the maximum, take advantage of everything you have, don't just sit back, looking for something to complain about , so you feel loved or satisfied, or weak.... Be everything you have in your life, see it clearly, so you can feel how important it is, and how difficult your life will be if you don't have it, don't ignore what you have, don't be busy of wanting what you don't have.
Let's start a circle of positive thinking and gratitude, tell me what are you grateful for .
I'll start
1- grateful for having tariq, my baby
2- grateful for having my school friends all around, and we all got married and had babies around the same time, so it's just amazing, to share all the info and the feelings, it's sweet, I love it.
3- grateful for every essential thing in my life that I can't live without, which could be a wish for someone else, I don't take my life for granted, it's a blessing.
Ok, write three things you are really grateful for, if you want to say more please do :)
Prove yourself wrong, you can be positive, and you do want to live it right. I guarantee you will find the appreciation you need once you start being grateful.
Happy new year moms around the world.
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