If you don't have this problem, you are very lucky. If you have a coporative mom who totally understands and supports you, I wish you all the luck and happiness and I wish to be you also!
But, what's really happening is that our moms can be our worst nightmares after delivering and having babies , for me I call it a complete waste of energy and emotions , because you repeatedly expect your mother to be there for you all the time, but that is not how it works, I know....... you feel like you are sharing the same experience , which is really unexpected , but believe it or not, it's happening.
now the day dreaming is on. she will be very helpful, she will teach you everything, she will support you when you get criticized , she will always make you feel good , now that you Are having a baby of your own, you will be her baby again,,, ahhhhhh so relieving , soooo nice .
Except! That is not the truth, that is not how it is.
Your mom will become one of your biggest troubles once you have a baby, maybe not instantly , but after 6 months at most, you will start to feel it.
She will not stop telling you what to do and not to do without even bother to hear you out.
She will say something then when you listen and do it , she will criticize it too!
She will start telling you all these stories about how she raised you and your brothers and sisters without any help and it was easy and she was perfect, but you , you can't even deal with that one little baby, and instead of giving you some advises on how to do that , she will keep beating you up, and it hurts!
She will be so contradicted , she will make you schizophrenic .
She will be like this......
Too cold put something on him.... Too hot why he is wearing all these clothes (same weather, but you are always wrong).
If you are out for two days in a row.... Why you are always out your baby needs to settle!
If you are in too days in a row.... Your baby needs to go out, why you are not moving, you are too lazy!
If you bought something for your baby that is kind of cheap or an outlet.... Poor baby why you are buying him these cheap stuff??
If you bought on regular price from a good place... He is a baby, he is growing up so fast, that's just too expensive, where do you find your money?
No chocolate!!! Oh give him some chocolate it's ok.
And not to forget judging you in front of people, some you know and some you are meeting with for the first time.
The list goes endlessly, your mom will always find something to make you feel bad!
The thing is why? I actually asked my mother that question a thousand time . The answer was : me ? No way, I'm trying to help
Once again I'm not criticizing to make you feel bad or me or moms, I'm telling the untold stuff (hopefully) so you can discuss it with your beloved mom, I don't have any doubts that moms have all the love on earth for us, I'm a mother too, it will be too harsh to say that they are doing that from lack of love , or they trying to be mean, no!
They just need to be more considerate of our feelings.
Mom, being your daughter doesn't mean that I dont get affected by your words, and it doesn't mean that I don't take you seriously, I do take you very seriously and I want you to do the same for me, I'm a grown up now, I even have my own baby!!!! Ya!! Just be there for me
One last thing , our daughters will be moms one day , please don't forget not to treat them as you were treated by your mom specially, and people around you in general. It's a thing to remember .
Keep it in your mind.
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u know how i feel on this subject ..i totally agree:)) mom was perfect ..we always listened to her and never talk back,shouted or anything..we were always clean and on time for bed like BIG BEN ..and we always behaved well in visits ,,,,etc . i am not close to perfection but i am really really trying my best :s
ReplyDeletei love u mom and am grateful for everything really ..but give me a break sometimes :)
This really made me laugh, sorry.. But it's just that I remembered witnessing similar situations and wow it made me go nuts just watching it!!.. so yeah I hear you ;)
ReplyDeleteI guess sometimes it can be confusing for the moms though.. when they're not helping with advises and stuff it would be like they're not supportive and when they do, they'd be interfering and criticizing.. so I think balancing these stuff can be tricky for them.. they have to be given a break as well..
They are helping and giving advises in the ways they know which can be totally different from our ways or what we expect, it's surely not like the ways their mothers used either, nor the same our daughters would use, as we're gonna be old fashioned for our kids you know ;)
I totally understand you, I'm just suggesting that these annoying stuff comes with the "Help" as a package, it might not be the perfect way to help in new mom's eyes, where you'd agree on everything, but it's how they know to help and probably they don't know another way or they would've done it.. The great thing though that in spite of all these misunderstandings, it would be filled with love, for you and your little ones :)
Also seeing the moms here, trust me, living in the same city as your mom's is such a bless! definitely better than nothing :)
So Allay y5alleelna yahom w y2eemek bel salameh w y5alleelek your angles :)
Luff you..