How are you dealing with people's judgments these days? How often do you judge moms? And their kids?
All the time? Or never? Honest?? Ok this maybe an opener for you...
Being yourself is hard only when you are trying to be someone else, the reason for this most of times is listening to what people would say about your life, and sometimes it's really hard to ignore, it's another complicated ingredient of being a human, we like judging because it gives a better feeling about yourself, instead of facing any bad choices you have made, it's common that you feel good about yourself when you make others look bad, it's a fact.. But it's destructive.
If you are the judging type, you will care big deal about others comments on your life, you will spend days and nights trying to figure out where did that come from? I'm I really this? Am I really that? It's like karma or sending negative energy and receiving it back,because you know how the game is played, and your life will turn into a mess.
So stop judging and start loving. After becoming a mom it will be intense, or maybe the effect of judgments become more powerful, because you are dealing with new stuff that you barely know anything about, not mentioning the hormones!!! So at the beginning, if you are not that sure about yourself or what you do, it may get ugly and you may get lost.
Nothing can help me better on writing this post other than going personal. I'll let you know something about me, it maybe help you know something about you.
I used to be the judgER, although I never pay attention to anyone's opinion on this earth, but I used to ask too many questions, like, why would mary dress like this? Why would Sara yell in a crowd, why would tyra marry this guy?
Knowing that I would be a very very good example for regular judging, but I guess I always saw myself better than others?! Maybe?! Or that I can do what others can't?
That's why I lived in a box for many years, seeing life from my point of view, close minded, I judged too much, I couldn't see the real reasons behind any act that I'm not familiar with. So I didn't understand many things till later.
I'm just like everyone else and maybe less, less important, less fashionable, less brainy, less whatever you want to less.
So I stopped, I figured out that judging can take you into dark places, like you can easily be distracted from your life, and blinded from knowing the truth about yourself, plus you can be controlled easily by somebody if that somebody decided to.
After becoming a mom you will be dealing with many stuff, with new problems, that when you will start acting like OTHERS, and then, only then you will understand.
Now,
if I see a couple fighting on the street or the mall I don't look, I don't judge, I really do understand that the time of this fight has come and it must happen now.
If I see a mother hitting her child in public , I don't judge, I do understand.
If I see lack of money in a family that have two working parents, I don't judge , I understand.
If I see overgrown eye browse , or an oily hair on a mom I totally understand.
If I see a fat mom, girl, I understand .
And that open my eyes on bigger things in life,
I don't want my kids to be judged when they grow up, I never want them to deal with that kind of feeling, I don't want them to struggle with this worthless issue, I want them to be who they really want to be, without having to question every decision they will be taking in their lives, and I don't want them to judge people, and ask too many questions about others lives in the time they can use to improve themselves or maybe the life of someone else.
And I want to be able to decide what my kids can or can't do not according to someone else's opinion, I want myself and my kids to be free. That starts from stoping judging people and never listen to a judgment yourself .
And I want you always to remember that the most effective judgments will come out from the closest persons to you and your children, like parents of yours, in laws and friends, and there where you have to put your foot down and never think twice, but please don't be rude!
I also want to tell you , listen to an advise, don't be so proud, it will be helpful and don't mistake it to a judgment!
I shared, now you think.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Who you're really are?
You need to have enough faith in yourself while raising your children for two reasons;
First, then you can raise them to become genuine, real and confident , I know that being yourself these days is a real challenge for you as a mom and for your kids as well, because they are growing up in a crowded world, they need to be pure enough so they can see clearly what they want and what they like or hate, the more effort you put in raising them as original as they can be will serve you very well when they are all grown up, or that what I hope for .
Second, so you can keep your own original self and continue what you started, maybe 10 years ago , you will do it again, when they will need you less, because sooner or later they will need you less, you must keep that in your mind and keep dreaming about your future, you don't want them to grow up and watch you regret the years you spent on raising them and not pursuing your own life.
You must be focused all the time or you will loose yourself in life, you can't get any busier raising kids, which recuire you to be the most of yourself, if you still don't know what you really want , or where you find yourself , start searching, don't search for what 99% of people are searching for, start from inside, start from high school, what really fascinated you all your life, what you were passionate about all these years, is it fashion? Art? Food? Money? Music?
Forget your major, forget the stereo type you have about yourself, you probably got it from others, unleash the fantasy about yourself and go for it, it may take years to get it right, it may never become as perfect as the fantasy in your mind, but at least ,you will be spending your precious time in something you really want, that you really enjoy
Perfect life will be , waking up everyday wanting to go to work, make your dream your work, shoot for the stars, even if you miss, at least you reached the sky. What the worst that can happen, not achieving your dream?? You are not ayway, why don't you try?
You Are afraid right? Maybe you are making good money at the moment, maybe you have enough money and you are settled, you are thinking, everything now is in the right place , why would I want to mess that up? Even if you decided to try, my spouse will be shocked and reluctant about what I really want, or maybe im afraid of judging?
Forget about all that, mess your life up, turn it upside down, and pursue your dream.
Don't focus on achieving sucsses , or reaching goals or any aspect of competing culture that is controlling us.
Focus on the trip, on the road, how satisfying it's going to be, how happy you are going to be. And as we agreed, you are the most important member of your family, if you are satisfy and happy , everybody will be, no matter what the reason is, people will be wondering , what in the world is giving you all that inner peace and satisfaction, I guess no one will be asking what you achieved in material world.
Look around you, people always are seeking happiness no matter how rich or poor they are, no matter if they are a bunch of CEO's or home staying moms, it's our nature, we seek happy and satisfied people no matter who they are according to materialistic definitions .
As you grow up you start seeing this, why do you think people retire and THEN, start buying their dream cars and travel to their dream
destinations, take art classes, cooking classes?? because they realize they spent thier lives pursuing the common dream, not their own.
We humanbeings never learn anything from other humans mistakes or lives, we want to try it ourselves , then regret on it by ourselves.
I'm addressing this especially for women,and more specially for moms, as I think of men as creatures on a quest by nature, they love achieving by the known standards I guess because of the testosterone and their tough natural..... And if you are doing the same, where is your special delicate nature as a woman?
If he is in a quest, and you are on a quest, your kids will be on a quest themselves for finding themselves and the doomed journey will never end.
Life, in it's shape now has squeezed every single one of us by our choice, there's no better time to reverse the spill and do it the way you want it to be done.
Feel special, breathe special, talk special, ignore the exhausting standards , that you sometimes don't know why you want to reach them.
I beg you to live your dream, this, and only this , will improve the quality of our life.
First, then you can raise them to become genuine, real and confident , I know that being yourself these days is a real challenge for you as a mom and for your kids as well, because they are growing up in a crowded world, they need to be pure enough so they can see clearly what they want and what they like or hate, the more effort you put in raising them as original as they can be will serve you very well when they are all grown up, or that what I hope for .
Second, so you can keep your own original self and continue what you started, maybe 10 years ago , you will do it again, when they will need you less, because sooner or later they will need you less, you must keep that in your mind and keep dreaming about your future, you don't want them to grow up and watch you regret the years you spent on raising them and not pursuing your own life.
You must be focused all the time or you will loose yourself in life, you can't get any busier raising kids, which recuire you to be the most of yourself, if you still don't know what you really want , or where you find yourself , start searching, don't search for what 99% of people are searching for, start from inside, start from high school, what really fascinated you all your life, what you were passionate about all these years, is it fashion? Art? Food? Money? Music?
Forget your major, forget the stereo type you have about yourself, you probably got it from others, unleash the fantasy about yourself and go for it, it may take years to get it right, it may never become as perfect as the fantasy in your mind, but at least ,you will be spending your precious time in something you really want, that you really enjoy
Perfect life will be , waking up everyday wanting to go to work, make your dream your work, shoot for the stars, even if you miss, at least you reached the sky. What the worst that can happen, not achieving your dream?? You are not ayway, why don't you try?
You Are afraid right? Maybe you are making good money at the moment, maybe you have enough money and you are settled, you are thinking, everything now is in the right place , why would I want to mess that up? Even if you decided to try, my spouse will be shocked and reluctant about what I really want, or maybe im afraid of judging?
Forget about all that, mess your life up, turn it upside down, and pursue your dream.
Don't focus on achieving sucsses , or reaching goals or any aspect of competing culture that is controlling us.
Focus on the trip, on the road, how satisfying it's going to be, how happy you are going to be. And as we agreed, you are the most important member of your family, if you are satisfy and happy , everybody will be, no matter what the reason is, people will be wondering , what in the world is giving you all that inner peace and satisfaction, I guess no one will be asking what you achieved in material world.
Look around you, people always are seeking happiness no matter how rich or poor they are, no matter if they are a bunch of CEO's or home staying moms, it's our nature, we seek happy and satisfied people no matter who they are according to materialistic definitions .
As you grow up you start seeing this, why do you think people retire and THEN, start buying their dream cars and travel to their dream
destinations, take art classes, cooking classes?? because they realize they spent thier lives pursuing the common dream, not their own.
We humanbeings never learn anything from other humans mistakes or lives, we want to try it ourselves , then regret on it by ourselves.
I'm addressing this especially for women,and more specially for moms, as I think of men as creatures on a quest by nature, they love achieving by the known standards I guess because of the testosterone and their tough natural..... And if you are doing the same, where is your special delicate nature as a woman?
If he is in a quest, and you are on a quest, your kids will be on a quest themselves for finding themselves and the doomed journey will never end.
Life, in it's shape now has squeezed every single one of us by our choice, there's no better time to reverse the spill and do it the way you want it to be done.
Feel special, breathe special, talk special, ignore the exhausting standards , that you sometimes don't know why you want to reach them.
I beg you to live your dream, this, and only this , will improve the quality of our life.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Experincing all the extra kilos in your body.. And more
It's like your worst dream coming true moms, isn't it ?
When you are on diet, you expect to loose weight, But even when you are eating you dont expect to gain wait, because it doesn't happen quickly, that's why we keep eating....
Now, when you are pregnant , it starts to show on you really quick, even if you don't eat as much. And it's amazing! It's very shocking , and painful , even if everybody is telling you how great you look (as pregnant) you still feel a little shame, and you may even get judged for gaining all this weight , ya!!!!! Maybe you are not doing exactly what you should be doing, all the good eating , and the excersice , but still you Are pregnant, not the right time to be judged, specially that you already feel bad yourself. So, first reason to make you feel bad about your weight is PEOPLE.
So you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like killing this woman who is standing in front of you, I remember I was thinking one time when I was looking at myself in the mirror ,,,, so that how I would look like if Im not watching my calories! The worst thought ever , my biggest fears in front of my eyes, I'm not exaggerating, even if you are not a mom, being a woman, you will always be aware of your body and this whole loosing weight issue must have taken many days and nights out of your life..... Yes , even if you still fat, yes people even if she is still fat, she still suffer , trying to diet and do it the best way she can.
It's amazing , how this superficial issue can exhaust half of the human race and serve the other half really well !!!
It's not like I don't love being thin, but sometimes we do need a break .... A break with no guilt.
Maybe you have a supportive husband or friends, maybe you accept yourself the way you are , maybe you do love yourself , maybe you are doing great in your job and life and everything that anybody could dream about.... BUT
Media, society, and discrimination will find the way to sabotage your mind, you will always think of yourself as a number on the scale. Even if you are the most successful woman on this planet. If you are overweight. The second reason is PEOPLE's judgment.
So, it's either you accept your body and love it , and face the world with it , or accept your body and love it and start dieting. Seriously, there is no third option,harsh? Ya! because this burden needs to disappear as soon as it can be done.
I know sometimes it's hard, you have a lot to do, and you really appreciate yourself for who you really are , not for being overweight or under it, sometimes you keep weight as a way of showing objection, and refusing, that you can keep all the weight you want and everybody can say whatever they want to say, you are keeping your extra kilos and let the world collapse .... You don't care, only that you care. So PEOPLE again
But I know you are hurting inside, I'm not incourging you to live it any other person's way, I know you want to loose the weight, so just start doing it, it's that easiest way, and once you start you will love it, you will feel great and you will want to do .
If you can't , its ok... Take your time or even don't do it at all, be the chubby sweet girl, but be happy, if you are happy it will show on you on your kids and family , even if you are a 100 on a scale , for me ,and for many I hope, all I care about is how you are doing in your life, real
life doesn't treat you nicer if you are thinner, so enjoy all the extra kilos, always remember that you gain them for a very good reason...Having Laila or Salma or Omar or Faris whatever your Baby name is.
Please don't ignore the fact that you are doing great in your life and stop enjoying playing with your kids or sleeping with your husband, or wearing expensive clothes because you think you don't deserve it, it's not the shape of your body or how much you are on the scale that decide if you deserve living or not, actually nothing can determine that , even if you are a total looser.
Forget how dealing with this issue is handled in our society, do it your way , enjoy your way, if you think that food makes you happy, go for it, I love seeing a girl totally confident about her food....it refreshing and cute. It's not neccesserly a problem, maybe you are a joyful person who loves food, just like any joyful person would love to exercise , love yourself because of all this weight not inspite of it, maybe you are who you are because you are not thin enough, you will never know how it served you, so think of it. Maybe being overweight has really served you and made you who you really are now.
Plus I only met few guys who think being skinny is sexy or very attractive, most of guys like it full and round :) it's only we girls dream of skinny waists and thinner thighs !
Give your life to a bigger, fuller something, stop giving weight the leading role in your life and start living.
When you are on diet, you expect to loose weight, But even when you are eating you dont expect to gain wait, because it doesn't happen quickly, that's why we keep eating....
Now, when you are pregnant , it starts to show on you really quick, even if you don't eat as much. And it's amazing! It's very shocking , and painful , even if everybody is telling you how great you look (as pregnant) you still feel a little shame, and you may even get judged for gaining all this weight , ya!!!!! Maybe you are not doing exactly what you should be doing, all the good eating , and the excersice , but still you Are pregnant, not the right time to be judged, specially that you already feel bad yourself. So, first reason to make you feel bad about your weight is PEOPLE.
So you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like killing this woman who is standing in front of you, I remember I was thinking one time when I was looking at myself in the mirror ,,,, so that how I would look like if Im not watching my calories! The worst thought ever , my biggest fears in front of my eyes, I'm not exaggerating, even if you are not a mom, being a woman, you will always be aware of your body and this whole loosing weight issue must have taken many days and nights out of your life..... Yes , even if you still fat, yes people even if she is still fat, she still suffer , trying to diet and do it the best way she can.
It's amazing , how this superficial issue can exhaust half of the human race and serve the other half really well !!!
It's not like I don't love being thin, but sometimes we do need a break .... A break with no guilt.
Maybe you have a supportive husband or friends, maybe you accept yourself the way you are , maybe you do love yourself , maybe you are doing great in your job and life and everything that anybody could dream about.... BUT
Media, society, and discrimination will find the way to sabotage your mind, you will always think of yourself as a number on the scale. Even if you are the most successful woman on this planet. If you are overweight. The second reason is PEOPLE's judgment.
So, it's either you accept your body and love it , and face the world with it , or accept your body and love it and start dieting. Seriously, there is no third option,harsh? Ya! because this burden needs to disappear as soon as it can be done.
I know sometimes it's hard, you have a lot to do, and you really appreciate yourself for who you really are , not for being overweight or under it, sometimes you keep weight as a way of showing objection, and refusing, that you can keep all the weight you want and everybody can say whatever they want to say, you are keeping your extra kilos and let the world collapse .... You don't care, only that you care. So PEOPLE again
But I know you are hurting inside, I'm not incourging you to live it any other person's way, I know you want to loose the weight, so just start doing it, it's that easiest way, and once you start you will love it, you will feel great and you will want to do .
If you can't , its ok... Take your time or even don't do it at all, be the chubby sweet girl, but be happy, if you are happy it will show on you on your kids and family , even if you are a 100 on a scale , for me ,and for many I hope, all I care about is how you are doing in your life, real
life doesn't treat you nicer if you are thinner, so enjoy all the extra kilos, always remember that you gain them for a very good reason...Having Laila or Salma or Omar or Faris whatever your Baby name is.
Please don't ignore the fact that you are doing great in your life and stop enjoying playing with your kids or sleeping with your husband, or wearing expensive clothes because you think you don't deserve it, it's not the shape of your body or how much you are on the scale that decide if you deserve living or not, actually nothing can determine that , even if you are a total looser.
Forget how dealing with this issue is handled in our society, do it your way , enjoy your way, if you think that food makes you happy, go for it, I love seeing a girl totally confident about her food....it refreshing and cute. It's not neccesserly a problem, maybe you are a joyful person who loves food, just like any joyful person would love to exercise , love yourself because of all this weight not inspite of it, maybe you are who you are because you are not thin enough, you will never know how it served you, so think of it. Maybe being overweight has really served you and made you who you really are now.
Plus I only met few guys who think being skinny is sexy or very attractive, most of guys like it full and round :) it's only we girls dream of skinny waists and thinner thighs !
Give your life to a bigger, fuller something, stop giving weight the leading role in your life and start living.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Happy you day!!
For every mother in this vast world.....
To you who chose to stay home with your kid/kids because it doesn't make sense for you to leave them to someone else to take care of them.
To you , working hard all day and come back to take good care of them , wishing for the day when you can wake up with them and never leave to work.
To you , who doesn't matter to you who's right or wrong , you do it your way with your kids , and take all the criticism in the world for it, but you put your foot down and Did it your way.
To you who stopped taking care of yourself so you can provide a better care for your kids.
To you who stopped smoking around your kids because it's not working anymore .
To you who stopped shopping at the pricy shops so you can buy unnecessary things for the kids.
To you who left your mom, family ,and friends, living in another country , thinking a better future for them deserve it.
To me.... I'm the girl who always thought that achieving has a different standard, it was the silliest thing for me to become a home staying mom, I thought of it as giving up , becoming comfortable and lazy as you have the perfect excuse not to pursue your dreams , and what you need to do to be an achiever in this life. To the new me that found a whole new meaning in raising kids and decided that achieving and success standard if not with your kids it's not anywhere else, I don't lie to myself anymore because being a mom in this complicated world
is a challenge.
To Dina , with the two babies and the kid :) you are appreciated , your friends always talks nicely about you, how great you are , how much work your are doing to raise your kids, YOU ARE APPRECIATED, you are a great mom but you don't know it.
To Sama , you found yourself in teema , I never saw you as confident or happy as when you talk about raising babies. You have information about raising and babies more than an encyclopedia ! I thank you for that, and I think you are one of the greatest mom I ever seen.
To Rahme.... You! The diva :) most beautiful and stylish girl I've ever met, you still as beautiful and stylish, you are a mom, a happy one , you have changed, more down to earth, a better person..... A great mom who is using everything to be a better mom, always asking and want to know stuff about your baby and what to do, I can see the passion in your eyes.... The perfect mom , prom queen , stylish diva! I
To Seba, the coolest, the craziest! You are most fit as a mom, it looks like it's the perfect job for you. The best thing about you as a mom that you do what you really believe it's right, you are confident just like the old days , in a better area .
To Sasha , so tender so loving, I envy the sweet boy you have, because he has it all, with you he is a winner no doubt! From love to toys to
food I'm sure he is getting the best of it all, the giver that you have always been has served him perfectly ..... It's obvious that you are working hard so he will work less.
To yasmeen...what can I say about you, you always wanted to be a mother, your are natural! I think you were born to be a mother..... And you sure know a lot of stuff about motherhood, enjoy it, it's your world.
To Kate , the tough mom, every time you looked or talked to one of the girls I saw love, you the tough girl! I was always amazed how your eyes will transform to mom code or something.... What I really envy the girls for is the good talks they had and will have with you, the perfect person to raise girls, you know it all.
To Basma.... I was so young when I met you , so do you :p I saw the cool stylish girl in you, and I saw you becoming this caring mom, who could raise the girls in an almost freeTV life with a lot of effort to boost their creativity, you have almost teach them everything about handcrafting and painting , swimming and gymnastics, reading, they are almost geniuses , because of you, and you took my very first attention on being a great mother as a young woman.
To MAMA.... No cleches today mama , I have had some bad times with you as every girl do, we doesn't have so much in common , we are very different, your way of caring and raising is different I know, you see everything from your perspective , you have made some major mistakes..... But guess what mom, I always turn out to you, because you get me, and you heal my wound with your special way, you are different , and maybe that what I love about you, you made me your friend, maybe that's why I am who I am today , and for that I thank you, and I greatly love you.
I thank every woman I mentioned because I learned something from her and become a better mom, I have known you enough, so I tracked the changes in your lifes , things you will never do if it's not for your kids, families, and love.....
You , I know you must relate to one of them, you must see yourself in one of these special moms I mentioned, whoever you are , you are doing great , feel the appreciation today , it's another reason to celebrate the life you choose.
And to you.... Every girl who is trying to be a mom, I say take your time :) .....
Seriously I hope Allah will give you as much babies as you want, use the time to get ready....
And to moms to be, you are going to be busy, crazy, pissed, happy, nagged, you are going to cry, to be deprived from sleeping, disattached from your life, but you are going to love it .
Happy you day mothers.... Happy mothers day You..
To you who chose to stay home with your kid/kids because it doesn't make sense for you to leave them to someone else to take care of them.
To you , working hard all day and come back to take good care of them , wishing for the day when you can wake up with them and never leave to work.
To you , who doesn't matter to you who's right or wrong , you do it your way with your kids , and take all the criticism in the world for it, but you put your foot down and Did it your way.
To you who stopped taking care of yourself so you can provide a better care for your kids.
To you who stopped smoking around your kids because it's not working anymore .
To you who stopped shopping at the pricy shops so you can buy unnecessary things for the kids.
To you who left your mom, family ,and friends, living in another country , thinking a better future for them deserve it.
To me.... I'm the girl who always thought that achieving has a different standard, it was the silliest thing for me to become a home staying mom, I thought of it as giving up , becoming comfortable and lazy as you have the perfect excuse not to pursue your dreams , and what you need to do to be an achiever in this life. To the new me that found a whole new meaning in raising kids and decided that achieving and success standard if not with your kids it's not anywhere else, I don't lie to myself anymore because being a mom in this complicated world
is a challenge.
To Dina , with the two babies and the kid :) you are appreciated , your friends always talks nicely about you, how great you are , how much work your are doing to raise your kids, YOU ARE APPRECIATED, you are a great mom but you don't know it.
To Sama , you found yourself in teema , I never saw you as confident or happy as when you talk about raising babies. You have information about raising and babies more than an encyclopedia ! I thank you for that, and I think you are one of the greatest mom I ever seen.
To Rahme.... You! The diva :) most beautiful and stylish girl I've ever met, you still as beautiful and stylish, you are a mom, a happy one , you have changed, more down to earth, a better person..... A great mom who is using everything to be a better mom, always asking and want to know stuff about your baby and what to do, I can see the passion in your eyes.... The perfect mom , prom queen , stylish diva! I
To Seba, the coolest, the craziest! You are most fit as a mom, it looks like it's the perfect job for you. The best thing about you as a mom that you do what you really believe it's right, you are confident just like the old days , in a better area .
To Sasha , so tender so loving, I envy the sweet boy you have, because he has it all, with you he is a winner no doubt! From love to toys to
food I'm sure he is getting the best of it all, the giver that you have always been has served him perfectly ..... It's obvious that you are working hard so he will work less.
To yasmeen...what can I say about you, you always wanted to be a mother, your are natural! I think you were born to be a mother..... And you sure know a lot of stuff about motherhood, enjoy it, it's your world.
To Kate , the tough mom, every time you looked or talked to one of the girls I saw love, you the tough girl! I was always amazed how your eyes will transform to mom code or something.... What I really envy the girls for is the good talks they had and will have with you, the perfect person to raise girls, you know it all.
To Basma.... I was so young when I met you , so do you :p I saw the cool stylish girl in you, and I saw you becoming this caring mom, who could raise the girls in an almost freeTV life with a lot of effort to boost their creativity, you have almost teach them everything about handcrafting and painting , swimming and gymnastics, reading, they are almost geniuses , because of you, and you took my very first attention on being a great mother as a young woman.
To MAMA.... No cleches today mama , I have had some bad times with you as every girl do, we doesn't have so much in common , we are very different, your way of caring and raising is different I know, you see everything from your perspective , you have made some major mistakes..... But guess what mom, I always turn out to you, because you get me, and you heal my wound with your special way, you are different , and maybe that what I love about you, you made me your friend, maybe that's why I am who I am today , and for that I thank you, and I greatly love you.
I thank every woman I mentioned because I learned something from her and become a better mom, I have known you enough, so I tracked the changes in your lifes , things you will never do if it's not for your kids, families, and love.....
You , I know you must relate to one of them, you must see yourself in one of these special moms I mentioned, whoever you are , you are doing great , feel the appreciation today , it's another reason to celebrate the life you choose.
And to you.... Every girl who is trying to be a mom, I say take your time :) .....
Seriously I hope Allah will give you as much babies as you want, use the time to get ready....
And to moms to be, you are going to be busy, crazy, pissed, happy, nagged, you are going to cry, to be deprived from sleeping, disattached from your life, but you are going to love it .
Happy you day mothers.... Happy mothers day You..
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Seems like you are having enough sex moms!!
I'm totally sorry for disturbing your peaceful, happy , sex full lives dear moms!!
I never imagined that truth could still hurt even if it's from a total stranger, even if you know me as a friend or relative, I don't know you are reading this blog, and I don't want to know, I only want to help you help yourself, just like Tunis did for Egypt, You never know who will be next, but you share what you know, what you can do , so someone can use it.
But! It seems like you don't have the courage even to think about some issues that are facing you as a mom, (young mom) Im specially addressing.
The sex post was viewed the most, from all over the world, and never commented on!! and you don't even have to write your name!!
I can't say I'm not surprised, but when I first started this blog , I said to myself , no Arabic woman has done this before, or that what I think, so it's going to be very beneficial and helpful, women will love it, will adore it, not because I'm so great , it's only because I'm saying it the real way, no make up, or surgeries.
I'll continue doing it, thanx for women who shared their opinions even to my Facebook inbox, thanx for the brave woman who shared her experience , and also thanx for you, the women who viewed the sex post, I hope you got something out of it.
You have just made me more stubborn to do what I wanted to do with this blog from the beginning , read it and don't tell....
It's ok...
LOVE
I never imagined that truth could still hurt even if it's from a total stranger, even if you know me as a friend or relative, I don't know you are reading this blog, and I don't want to know, I only want to help you help yourself, just like Tunis did for Egypt, You never know who will be next, but you share what you know, what you can do , so someone can use it.
But! It seems like you don't have the courage even to think about some issues that are facing you as a mom, (young mom) Im specially addressing.
The sex post was viewed the most, from all over the world, and never commented on!! and you don't even have to write your name!!
I can't say I'm not surprised, but when I first started this blog , I said to myself , no Arabic woman has done this before, or that what I think, so it's going to be very beneficial and helpful, women will love it, will adore it, not because I'm so great , it's only because I'm saying it the real way, no make up, or surgeries.
I'll continue doing it, thanx for women who shared their opinions even to my Facebook inbox, thanx for the brave woman who shared her experience , and also thanx for you, the women who viewed the sex post, I hope you got something out of it.
You have just made me more stubborn to do what I wanted to do with this blog from the beginning , read it and don't tell....
It's ok...
LOVE
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Are you getting enough?? ......sex?
Hi mommy!! This is the truth talking to , please handle it, because you need it.
When was the last time you had a good sex with the father of your children?? I really would like the answer to be ; just few days ago. But I guess it's not!
Probably good sex or ANY at all was weeks ago? Too optimistic? Months ago?
You feel there is something not quite right between you too, like there is a distance filled by babies/children?
Are you feeling enough satisfaction from being a mother, that sex looks less appealing those days?
Are you really tiered that you would rather be sleeping, or eating a big piece of chocolate cake , than exhausting yourself with an intimate relation?
Are you on a tight schedule , that doesn't fit for sex??
It's OK, its normal that you are living this situation and experiencing those feeling. Being a mommy, specially a new one , has brought to you all kinds of mixed feelings and instability you could imagined, you are not even yourself anymore, you are dealing with a new person that you barely know, your time has been taken away from you, it's not even a choice, it's something you are doing , that sometimes you don't even realize it , you are moving around taking care of your baby and husband and the house, maybe a parent or two, as well as having a life and taking care of yourself , maybe! The way you look, rarely the way you feel, in addition of having friends , you need to see those too, because you love hanging out with them, maybe the only few hours that makes you feel like yourself again in that stressful time.
So, sex..?? Remember?
You are actually doing everything but this, why?
Yes, I know you are thinking it's all his fault, he is not doing enough for me, I don't feel like I'm wanted any more, he ignores me, I'm busy all day and I don't feel like he understands how I feel about this new life I'm living, he is selfish!! He wakes up, get all dressed up and at least, go out!
What do I do?I stay in my pajamas all day taking care of this crying thing, and cooking , I don't remember how the street looks like anymore, I'm a cave woman, I'm the one who should be more appreciated, and even if I look like hell, he still need to make me feel like he wants to sleep with me, right?
Mmmm, ya, you are 100% partially right, he is having his own issues too, he misses you the most, I'm sure, he feels like your precious , sweet, yummy little cute baby has taken you away from him, he maybe feels like he is even not important any more , that you really need your time only to be beside the new baby, he is withdrawing, thinking he is sacrificing his time with you because of you. He really doesn't want to bother you by his needs.
Or, maybe he is the other type of guys, who feels like you have changed! He can't find his wife anymore,he feels like you are really different that he can't even start flirting with you, because you are all exhausted and busy and talks on and on about the baby. You look different , you sound different, it's not you, he is basically feeling about you the way you feel about yourself, So he's thinking ok, let's just sleep
Or unfortunately, he is the guy who is buying his own comfort, by spending most of his free time out, playing poker, or hanging out with his friends, feeling no responsibility at all, and being insensitive about the sex issue, because he is so self-centered .
Although some married couples who are not parents yet, are having the no sex situation, I really want to discuss it from a mom and dad point.
For moms , you need to put some effort in it, even if you are not used to it, even if your husband was always the tiger who chased you around and hunt you, don't take it personally that he is not chasing you any more , think outside the box, you can go crazy , thinking, he doesn't like me any more, I'm fat, I'm ugly , I smell bad , he doesn't want to be close to me ever again, going crazy will only make it worst, because you will be reacting to your thoughts, you will start blaming him for things he doesnt even understand, or you will withdraw, and make it more complicated.
Just try to take it easy, think of it as a hard Time for you and him, think fast and react slowly, give it sometime, it will happen, if you start thinking, we are a young couple, if we are not having enough sex now , what will happen in ten years? We must have sex now!
No! Don't panic! You are fine and you will be fine , most of good sex come to you after you are 30! That what I heard. So it's ok :).
Just give it time, if you know how to fix the problem , go ahead. Don't be so proud.
I don't want to start giving you tips on how to boost your sex life, you do it.
If you were having good times before giving birth, you should be having good times afterward too.
I'm telling you try to fix it, not because its always the woman responsibility , like some men would say, no. I'm telling you to fix it, because we women , were created as problem solvers , we know how to do it all, you as a mom now, know that very well, you can do it all, you are sexy, smart, tolerant, loving and easy going, you can put up with many things, men can't even imagine, give yourself the credit for that , and use it, don't accept being the victim, as a woman you are great.... As a mom you are even greater.
Your husband will know that , when you know it.
Please, don't ignore having a sexless life as a mom, it's one of the biggest undiscussed issues in our society , and it can be very dangerous , it can have major side effects on you personally , and your family, it's important, talk with your husband about it today, if you don't know what else you should be doing. be strong, be yourself. It's your husband , he will love it, even if you didn't solve it immediately ,you have broken the taboo, it may take sometime, but it's much better than taking no time at all.
When was the last time you had a good sex with the father of your children?? I really would like the answer to be ; just few days ago. But I guess it's not!
Probably good sex or ANY at all was weeks ago? Too optimistic? Months ago?
You feel there is something not quite right between you too, like there is a distance filled by babies/children?
Are you feeling enough satisfaction from being a mother, that sex looks less appealing those days?
Are you really tiered that you would rather be sleeping, or eating a big piece of chocolate cake , than exhausting yourself with an intimate relation?
Are you on a tight schedule , that doesn't fit for sex??
It's OK, its normal that you are living this situation and experiencing those feeling. Being a mommy, specially a new one , has brought to you all kinds of mixed feelings and instability you could imagined, you are not even yourself anymore, you are dealing with a new person that you barely know, your time has been taken away from you, it's not even a choice, it's something you are doing , that sometimes you don't even realize it , you are moving around taking care of your baby and husband and the house, maybe a parent or two, as well as having a life and taking care of yourself , maybe! The way you look, rarely the way you feel, in addition of having friends , you need to see those too, because you love hanging out with them, maybe the only few hours that makes you feel like yourself again in that stressful time.
So, sex..?? Remember?
You are actually doing everything but this, why?
Yes, I know you are thinking it's all his fault, he is not doing enough for me, I don't feel like I'm wanted any more, he ignores me, I'm busy all day and I don't feel like he understands how I feel about this new life I'm living, he is selfish!! He wakes up, get all dressed up and at least, go out!
What do I do?I stay in my pajamas all day taking care of this crying thing, and cooking , I don't remember how the street looks like anymore, I'm a cave woman, I'm the one who should be more appreciated, and even if I look like hell, he still need to make me feel like he wants to sleep with me, right?
Mmmm, ya, you are 100% partially right, he is having his own issues too, he misses you the most, I'm sure, he feels like your precious , sweet, yummy little cute baby has taken you away from him, he maybe feels like he is even not important any more , that you really need your time only to be beside the new baby, he is withdrawing, thinking he is sacrificing his time with you because of you. He really doesn't want to bother you by his needs.
Or, maybe he is the other type of guys, who feels like you have changed! He can't find his wife anymore,he feels like you are really different that he can't even start flirting with you, because you are all exhausted and busy and talks on and on about the baby. You look different , you sound different, it's not you, he is basically feeling about you the way you feel about yourself, So he's thinking ok, let's just sleep
Or unfortunately, he is the guy who is buying his own comfort, by spending most of his free time out, playing poker, or hanging out with his friends, feeling no responsibility at all, and being insensitive about the sex issue, because he is so self-centered .
Although some married couples who are not parents yet, are having the no sex situation, I really want to discuss it from a mom and dad point.
For moms , you need to put some effort in it, even if you are not used to it, even if your husband was always the tiger who chased you around and hunt you, don't take it personally that he is not chasing you any more , think outside the box, you can go crazy , thinking, he doesn't like me any more, I'm fat, I'm ugly , I smell bad , he doesn't want to be close to me ever again, going crazy will only make it worst, because you will be reacting to your thoughts, you will start blaming him for things he doesnt even understand, or you will withdraw, and make it more complicated.
Just try to take it easy, think of it as a hard Time for you and him, think fast and react slowly, give it sometime, it will happen, if you start thinking, we are a young couple, if we are not having enough sex now , what will happen in ten years? We must have sex now!
No! Don't panic! You are fine and you will be fine , most of good sex come to you after you are 30! That what I heard. So it's ok :).
Just give it time, if you know how to fix the problem , go ahead. Don't be so proud.
I don't want to start giving you tips on how to boost your sex life, you do it.
If you were having good times before giving birth, you should be having good times afterward too.
I'm telling you try to fix it, not because its always the woman responsibility , like some men would say, no. I'm telling you to fix it, because we women , were created as problem solvers , we know how to do it all, you as a mom now, know that very well, you can do it all, you are sexy, smart, tolerant, loving and easy going, you can put up with many things, men can't even imagine, give yourself the credit for that , and use it, don't accept being the victim, as a woman you are great.... As a mom you are even greater.
Your husband will know that , when you know it.
Please, don't ignore having a sexless life as a mom, it's one of the biggest undiscussed issues in our society , and it can be very dangerous , it can have major side effects on you personally , and your family, it's important, talk with your husband about it today, if you don't know what else you should be doing. be strong, be yourself. It's your husband , he will love it, even if you didn't solve it immediately ,you have broken the taboo, it may take sometime, but it's much better than taking no time at all.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Are you wishing for someone else? Really?
If you can't handle the truth, the real thoughts for real wives in the real world , please don't read this.
If you don't want to face an existing problem, and you prefer not to read about , please don't read this.
This post has a hero, It's a guy, I'll call him Jimmy .
So , Jimmy is the guy that you wish you have married, Jimmy is the guy you always remember or wish for ,when you have a fight with your husband, He is the one that you are sure he would have treated you better than this husband who you finally settled for and got married to, Jimmy is the crush that you had once, the love that never got a closure, the guy that he wanted you so much and loved you so so much but, never offers to marry you, and sometimes when life squeezes you , you ask yourself once again why??
Jimmy always pops in your mind when your bad husband criticizes you when you need a compliment , or when there is no enough money for all these extra things you always wanted, that you really deserve, or when you look at yourself in the mirror and miss that sweet girl who was full of energy and laughter ,but look at her now, so involved with the kids and Mr.husband who is not paying any attention, but Jimmy always knew I was special.
Jimmy in that case can be two things, he is either your husband before getting mArried.
Or the jerk who never had guts to tell you that he loved you or wanted to marry you.
Both ways, Jimmy is a lie!
Do you think Jimmy will be treating you better?? ( I'm not talking about the extreme cases , that the husband really needs to be stopped) I'm talking about regular problems, and everyday issues
Do you think that Jimmy would have stayed as sweet as he was 10 years ago?
Do you think that Jimmy would have gave you more than your husband?
No way! Jimmy is probably still not married, because he has relationships, commentment issues , I know he will never be more understanding or loving than your husband, I bet no one will ever treat you as good as your husband is doing , be honest, you are not an angel yourself , you do neglect your appearances sometimes, you don't give all the required attention all the time, you are not as sweet as you were 2 years ago, right?
I know it's for good reasons , but still, I'm sure he hugged you most of the times he felt you are tiered or in need for the man in him to tell you, everything is going to be fine.
I'm sure sometimes you have been totally unreasonable and he stayed calm , because he loves you, maybe he is not good in dealing with your anger, or strong emotions, but he is trying, isn't he??
Don't forget that your husband who has all these bad qualities gave you some of the greatest moments in your living life.
Don't forget that before he become as busy as you are, he was a Jimmy , not any Jimmy, your Jimmy.
Don't forget that men are weak sometimes , just like me and you, and need some support and care and a kiss on the forehead , telling him, you are here for him.
Don't forget that men sometimes need to know that they are sexually wanted by you, not by the pretty girl that admires him in the office, day
and night !
And don't you dare forget he may have a Jimmy girl himself , because you are making a drama out of your everyday life.
If you are already a mom, you understand how giving and sacrificing is done, you understand how your babies or kids are in desperate need for you to put them on the right track, push your husband to be more involved in guiding your little ones, and give him all the credit for being around , give him some of the attention and care you are giving for your babies, believe me he needs it as much, and always give him the space to do the same for you, remind him that you need him , that you do love him, talk it out, always say I love you, I miss you , I want you, you Are my sweet life, because he is really that, but you don't see it any more , either because you are so busy or so angry, or you want to prove a thing that doesn't really matter!!
There is no victims , there is no heros here, its only a loving family, nobody needs to prove anything to anyone, live your life as you want it to be, don't observe happier people, you are probably happier but you don't know it.
If you think people don't have issues, you are wrong! Be you, enjoy what you have , enjoy your man! Yes ! He is all yours, live it as you want it to be. Don't waste your stable family , love and emotions, for something that never existed . You are having a great life..... See it and it will
see you.
Let your last thought be.... Jimmy is probably still wants you, but you are having the messy, emotional , loving , angry, full life with great hard working loving daddy, and a sexy, loving, daring husband that is just perfectly right for you. You don't need Jimmy .
You are the winner, you have it all.
If you don't want to face an existing problem, and you prefer not to read about , please don't read this.
This post has a hero, It's a guy, I'll call him Jimmy .
So , Jimmy is the guy that you wish you have married, Jimmy is the guy you always remember or wish for ,when you have a fight with your husband, He is the one that you are sure he would have treated you better than this husband who you finally settled for and got married to, Jimmy is the crush that you had once, the love that never got a closure, the guy that he wanted you so much and loved you so so much but, never offers to marry you, and sometimes when life squeezes you , you ask yourself once again why??
Jimmy always pops in your mind when your bad husband criticizes you when you need a compliment , or when there is no enough money for all these extra things you always wanted, that you really deserve, or when you look at yourself in the mirror and miss that sweet girl who was full of energy and laughter ,but look at her now, so involved with the kids and Mr.husband who is not paying any attention, but Jimmy always knew I was special.
Jimmy in that case can be two things, he is either your husband before getting mArried.
Or the jerk who never had guts to tell you that he loved you or wanted to marry you.
Both ways, Jimmy is a lie!
Do you think Jimmy will be treating you better?? ( I'm not talking about the extreme cases , that the husband really needs to be stopped) I'm talking about regular problems, and everyday issues
Do you think that Jimmy would have stayed as sweet as he was 10 years ago?
Do you think that Jimmy would have gave you more than your husband?
No way! Jimmy is probably still not married, because he has relationships, commentment issues , I know he will never be more understanding or loving than your husband, I bet no one will ever treat you as good as your husband is doing , be honest, you are not an angel yourself , you do neglect your appearances sometimes, you don't give all the required attention all the time, you are not as sweet as you were 2 years ago, right?
I know it's for good reasons , but still, I'm sure he hugged you most of the times he felt you are tiered or in need for the man in him to tell you, everything is going to be fine.
I'm sure sometimes you have been totally unreasonable and he stayed calm , because he loves you, maybe he is not good in dealing with your anger, or strong emotions, but he is trying, isn't he??
Don't forget that your husband who has all these bad qualities gave you some of the greatest moments in your living life.
Don't forget that before he become as busy as you are, he was a Jimmy , not any Jimmy, your Jimmy.
Don't forget that men are weak sometimes , just like me and you, and need some support and care and a kiss on the forehead , telling him, you are here for him.
Don't forget that men sometimes need to know that they are sexually wanted by you, not by the pretty girl that admires him in the office, day
and night !
And don't you dare forget he may have a Jimmy girl himself , because you are making a drama out of your everyday life.
If you are already a mom, you understand how giving and sacrificing is done, you understand how your babies or kids are in desperate need for you to put them on the right track, push your husband to be more involved in guiding your little ones, and give him all the credit for being around , give him some of the attention and care you are giving for your babies, believe me he needs it as much, and always give him the space to do the same for you, remind him that you need him , that you do love him, talk it out, always say I love you, I miss you , I want you, you Are my sweet life, because he is really that, but you don't see it any more , either because you are so busy or so angry, or you want to prove a thing that doesn't really matter!!
There is no victims , there is no heros here, its only a loving family, nobody needs to prove anything to anyone, live your life as you want it to be, don't observe happier people, you are probably happier but you don't know it.
If you think people don't have issues, you are wrong! Be you, enjoy what you have , enjoy your man! Yes ! He is all yours, live it as you want it to be. Don't waste your stable family , love and emotions, for something that never existed . You are having a great life..... See it and it will
see you.
Let your last thought be.... Jimmy is probably still wants you, but you are having the messy, emotional , loving , angry, full life with great hard working loving daddy, and a sexy, loving, daring husband that is just perfectly right for you. You don't need Jimmy .
You are the winner, you have it all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)